Another Set of Stupid Questions

1. At the theater: When you meet your friend.
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: Don’t you know, I sell tickets in black over here..


2. In the local train: A fat woman wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet..
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia…..why don’t you try again.


3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?


4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the “Chinese Manchurian” dish good??
Answer: No, its terrible and made of adulterated powders. We occasionally also spit in it.


5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years…
Stupid Question: Oh, Johnny you’ve become so big.
Answer: Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.


6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…
Stupid Question: Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer: No, he’s a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout…it’s just the money.


7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer: No. I was doing research on cats. You thought I was sleeping….you idiot!


8. When you see a friend with evidently shorter hair..
Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer: No, its autumn and I’m shedding….


9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: No it won`t. It will just bleed.


10. You are smoking a cigarette and a woman asks…
Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.
Answer: Gosh, it’s a miracle ……. it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!